Hi to anyone who might actually be reading this little blog of mine! A warning in advance, this will be very rambly!
I just back from Florida where I visited the Mouse and hit the beach with my parents, sister, and almost 3 year old niece. We had a great time.
While I was there, I realized that I am capable of far more physically than I thought. I walked tons and swam. I didn't swim as much as I might have in the past just because when you are well over 300 pounds, you don't feel comfortable in a bathing suit. No...it's more like you don't feel ENTITLED to wear a bathing suit. So, I was pretty active, but I would also feel that activity in the morning pretty hard. I was so sore...especially my feet.
Well, I knew it was time to get back ontrack when I got home. I knew, because all that activity was a great jumping off point to keeping up the activity back home AND because I can literally feel my body disintegrating. I'm tired of that.
I was going through our photos yesterday and my sister, niece, and I had one taken with Mickey and Minnie. I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor at how HUGE I am. I'm seriously just HUGE. I knew I was really big, but something about seeing it documented in a photograph is quite the wake up call. My initial instinct was to delete it, but then I started thinking, I need to see that. Maybe I should make it the wallpaper on my computer screen. A constant reminder of what I am doing and what needs to be done.
I also had to buy a new scale yesterday, because my old one decided to just completely stop working. I changed the batteries twice and nothing. So, I weighed myself on this new scale thinking I'd be back around 340. No. 350.2. I mean...really???
I feel so frustrated, because I know I make these commitments to myself and declare them here and then time and time again, I fail, only to gain back what I've lost and then some. 350.2. I never thought I would see that number. That is my highest weight ever. That's halfway between 300 and 400 pounds. And it makes me physically ill. How did this happen? How did I let this happen?
I went grocery shopping yesterday and did very well. I had a cart full of produce and chicken and some marinades to keep things changed up. I have to keep it simple for now. I was super proud of myself, as I didn't buy anything sugary (other than my all natural peanut butter with honey - there's a confession)...the only snacks I bought were fruit and little Babybel cheeses and the aforementioned peanut butter. Oh...I did get a bag of those baked Snackum things from Trader Joe's. They are kind of like Funyons. I already know that one serving is 4 PP.
I came home and portioned off the chicken and froze it, washed and chopped a GIANT thing of strawberries, and prepared a big bag of salad for lunches. I had a bunch of errands yesterday, but was still able to make Hawaiian chicken with broccoli. Of course, I didn't remember to take pictures. But all I did was marinate a couple of chicken breasts in Lawry's Hawaiian marinade along with a chunkily chopped onion, some garlic, and a can of pineapple in juice. I cooked it at 375 for about an hour, adding in a bag of prewashed and chopped broccoli at the end. I served it with some Jasmine rice and it was really very good. I think the Points Plus value was 12, including a serving of rice.
Right now, I'm trying to create a spreadsheet so I can post my food journals each Friday, so look for that tomorrow. It will only include W-F of this week. I'm also giving serious thought to going back to my Weight Watchers meetings. If I do that, it will happen either tomorrow or Saturday.
Thanks for reading!