Heather from the Half Size Me podcast accompanied me via my headphones on my walk today. She just doesn't know it. I started listening to Episode 28 and she talks about hitting a wall, whether it be a certain number of pounds lost or an amount of time or whatever it is that stops you dead in your tracks during your weight loss journey.
I realized that I've been doing this for several weeks. I have not been perfect and still have a hell of a long way to go. However, the past few years have had so many ups and downs in regards to my weight. Usually it takes about 2-4 weeks for me to hit that wall. I'll throw in the towel completely: stop exercising and start the vicious cycle of binging and not giving a flip (tossed with some good portions of self-guilt and beating myself up).
I've "fallen off" a few times over the past several weeks, but I still keep picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back on that horse. It gave me such a sense of elation to realize that today. I've had 4 horrible eat everything in sight days and last night, I sat down and planned out my entire day in my Weight Watchers tracker. I haven't felt the slightest bit of a nudge towards straying from it either. I've had breakfast and lunch and dinner is already simmering away in the crockpot. And I've already done my walk today.
I can do this.
I will do this.
Last night, as I was folding laundry, I remember thinking to myself - this is no big deal. This is just a little blip in the rest of your life. This is forever. It's fine.
Notice there was no self-degradation, no loud exclamations of "I am a failure!" No. Only acceptance of myself and the will to move on to the next thing.
I feel amazing.