Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Hitting a Wall

Heather from the Half Size Me podcast accompanied me via my headphones on my walk today.  She just doesn't know it.  I started listening to Episode 28 and she talks about hitting a wall, whether it be a certain number of pounds lost or an amount of time or whatever it is that stops you dead in your tracks during your weight loss journey.

I realized that I've been doing this for several weeks.  I have not been perfect and still have a hell of a long way to go.  However, the past few years have had so many ups and downs in regards to my weight.  Usually it takes about 2-4 weeks for me to hit that wall.  I'll throw in the towel completely:  stop exercising and start the vicious cycle of binging and not giving a flip (tossed with some good portions of self-guilt and beating myself up).

I've "fallen off" a few times over the past several weeks, but I still keep picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back on that horse.  It gave me such a sense of elation to realize that today.  I've had 4 horrible eat everything in sight days and last night, I sat down and planned out my entire day in my Weight Watchers tracker.  I haven't felt the slightest bit of a nudge towards straying from it either.  I've had breakfast and lunch and dinner is already simmering away in the crockpot.  And I've already done my walk today.

I can do this.

I will do this.

Last night, as I was folding laundry, I remember thinking to myself - this is no big deal.  This is just a little blip in the rest of your life.  This is forever.  It's fine.

Notice there was no self-degradation, no loud exclamations of "I am a failure!"  No.  Only acceptance of myself and the will to move on to the next thing.

I feel amazing.

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