Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Back to Weight Watchers

I'm about to head out to my meeting the week.  I did really well for a couple of days, then helped my sister move and stayed at her new apartment for a few days and it was like a switch was flipped off.  I can eat whatever I want, because I'm not home and it doesn't count.  But it does count, doesn't it?

Is this ever going to end?  Am I ever going to be in a place where I care about my health and well-being enough that I don't allow food and laziness and complacency to come first?

I'm starting to doubt I ever will.

Yesterday was a crazy day.  I've been talking to this girl and lo' and behold, she not only suddenly has a new girlfriend, but she'd been lying to me about the state of her "relationship" with a mutual friend of ours.  I will know from here on out to trust my instincts, because I knew something was off with her from the get-go.  In addition to that, the aforementioned ex that I haven't spoken to in 6 years contacted me via Facebook and we spent the better part of the day in a back and forth conversation.  I followed that up with a phone call from ANOTHER ex who proceeded to tell me that I am "lesbian crack".  Nice!

In any event, all of these things together made me really depressed and really questioning whether or not I will be single for the rest of my life.  A friend reminded me that it's all a rollercoaster.  One day we're up, another day we're down waiting to be back up again.  And he was really right.  I'm feeling pretty positive and not worried about any of it so much today.

I just want to try and focus on myself today.

For today I can make good food choices.  For today I can get in some exercise.  If only for today.

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