My favorite quote in the world comes from Eleanor Roosevelt: "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
I'm forcing myself to post tonight precisely because I don't want to. I don't want to post again saying that I had another failure of a day and that I honestly do not know how to dig myself out of this hole. I'm so exhausted from fighting and thinking about it that I don't even know what else to say. When does it get to the point where I stop thinking so much and just do?
I'm a scrapbooker and there's a class out there called "One Little Word". I don't know anything about it really other than the idea is you have one word for the new year. One word to describe your hopes and dreams for the upcoming year. This got me to thinking. If I could choose just one word to encompass all that I desire for my life, what would it be? I decided on "peace". Peace with my body. Peace with food. Peace with my finances. Peace in all my relationships. Peace with my job. Peace with my surroundings. Peace with my current place in life at right this moment. That's all I want. Peace. I don't want constant insanity flowing through my mind. I feel so out of control. I feel so much like I've just let life pass me by. My youth is fading fast. I don't want to lose another minute.
So I have to start now. But...how?