I love chocolate chip cookies. If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, that would probably be it. I mean...really. I really, really love them. Maybe someday human-cookie marriage will be legalized and I'll be at the front of that line - a homemade chocolate chip cookie in hand, it's chocolate chips melting into the warmth of my palm.
Okay, perhaps that's taking it a bit too far....
So last night, after having planned my whole day (and having thrown in a couple of snacks too, that I did track, thank you very much), I decided I NEEDED...needed...a Diet Coke from McDonalds. Off I went to collect it, thinking to myself that some McDonald's chocolate chip cookies sounded MIGHTY tasty and that all my hard work for the day be damned, that's what I was going to eat.
Well to make a long, semi-complicated story short - I did not get the cookies. I talked myself off that ledge and finished strong yesterday. I stayed under my points with 2 to spare. I sat down and planned today out just like I did the night before and I went to bed.
It's just good to know that I have that strength deep down inside...that the will to do this is still pretty damn strong.
Just have to take it all as it comes, one day at a time.
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Hitting a Wall
Heather from the Half Size Me podcast accompanied me via my headphones on my walk today. She just doesn't know it. I started listening to Episode 28 and she talks about hitting a wall, whether it be a certain number of pounds lost or an amount of time or whatever it is that stops you dead in your tracks during your weight loss journey.
I realized that I've been doing this for several weeks. I have not been perfect and still have a hell of a long way to go. However, the past few years have had so many ups and downs in regards to my weight. Usually it takes about 2-4 weeks for me to hit that wall. I'll throw in the towel completely: stop exercising and start the vicious cycle of binging and not giving a flip (tossed with some good portions of self-guilt and beating myself up).
I've "fallen off" a few times over the past several weeks, but I still keep picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back on that horse. It gave me such a sense of elation to realize that today. I've had 4 horrible eat everything in sight days and last night, I sat down and planned out my entire day in my Weight Watchers tracker. I haven't felt the slightest bit of a nudge towards straying from it either. I've had breakfast and lunch and dinner is already simmering away in the crockpot. And I've already done my walk today.
I can do this.
I will do this.
Last night, as I was folding laundry, I remember thinking to myself - this is no big deal. This is just a little blip in the rest of your life. This is forever. It's fine.
Notice there was no self-degradation, no loud exclamations of "I am a failure!" No. Only acceptance of myself and the will to move on to the next thing.
I feel amazing.
I realized that I've been doing this for several weeks. I have not been perfect and still have a hell of a long way to go. However, the past few years have had so many ups and downs in regards to my weight. Usually it takes about 2-4 weeks for me to hit that wall. I'll throw in the towel completely: stop exercising and start the vicious cycle of binging and not giving a flip (tossed with some good portions of self-guilt and beating myself up).
I've "fallen off" a few times over the past several weeks, but I still keep picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back on that horse. It gave me such a sense of elation to realize that today. I've had 4 horrible eat everything in sight days and last night, I sat down and planned out my entire day in my Weight Watchers tracker. I haven't felt the slightest bit of a nudge towards straying from it either. I've had breakfast and lunch and dinner is already simmering away in the crockpot. And I've already done my walk today.
I can do this.
I will do this.
Last night, as I was folding laundry, I remember thinking to myself - this is no big deal. This is just a little blip in the rest of your life. This is forever. It's fine.
Notice there was no self-degradation, no loud exclamations of "I am a failure!" No. Only acceptance of myself and the will to move on to the next thing.
I feel amazing.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
On Exercise
I don't know how many more days I'm going to be doing these multiple posts, but I'm a teacher and have another 5 weeks (I think) off, so....but I will say, it's definitely helping to keep my motivated, even if there is no one out there actually reading other than the spam companies that keep flooding to my blog and driving my stats up!
Okay...so exercise....I completed my second day just now and noticed a few things.
1. I'm so super out of shape that the first 10-15 minutes hurts like a mother. My legs start aching and screaming at me. And dude, it's not like I'm doing 30 Day Shred. I'm just doing a little Leslie Sansonne Walk At Home DVD.
2. After the first 10-15 minutes (and I mentioned this earlier), my legs hurt less and I start to feel super empowered!
3. I own a whole library of Leslie Sansonne videos, but I chose this one that I lost a ton of weight with before (also falling a healthy diet, of course), because it reminds me of a time I succeeded. I have some newer videos, but I smell failure everytime I even glance in their direction, so it will be awhile before I want to pull those puppies out.
Now...onto another topic on my mind called....Running.
I desperately want to be one of those 5K every weekend kind of girls! I actually did the first run from Couch to 5K three separate times last year, but could never get the courage up to continue. Of course, I weighed well over 300 pounds then too. My knees are so incredibly fucked up right now, that I can't even begin to imagine trying to start running again right now.
BUT...it is definitely something I'll be looking forward to once I start shedding these pounds and getting my body back into fighting shape!
Meanwhile, completed un-weight related (gasp!), I saw World War Z yesterday, which was okay. It was nothing like the book. I'm a bit of a zombie freak. I also love anything post-apocalyptic/dystopia related, so I'm reading a bunch of different young adult series that fall into that category right now. Currently, I'm reading Matched (I can't remember the author's name) and it's terribly enjoyable. Very Hunger Games-esque.
So, if you are out there, please leave me a comment and tell me two things: 1. What kind of exercise do you like to do and 2. What kind of books do you enjoy?
Okay...so exercise....I completed my second day just now and noticed a few things.
1. I'm so super out of shape that the first 10-15 minutes hurts like a mother. My legs start aching and screaming at me. And dude, it's not like I'm doing 30 Day Shred. I'm just doing a little Leslie Sansonne Walk At Home DVD.
2. After the first 10-15 minutes (and I mentioned this earlier), my legs hurt less and I start to feel super empowered!
3. I own a whole library of Leslie Sansonne videos, but I chose this one that I lost a ton of weight with before (also falling a healthy diet, of course), because it reminds me of a time I succeeded. I have some newer videos, but I smell failure everytime I even glance in their direction, so it will be awhile before I want to pull those puppies out.
Now...onto another topic on my mind called....Running.
I desperately want to be one of those 5K every weekend kind of girls! I actually did the first run from Couch to 5K three separate times last year, but could never get the courage up to continue. Of course, I weighed well over 300 pounds then too. My knees are so incredibly fucked up right now, that I can't even begin to imagine trying to start running again right now.
BUT...it is definitely something I'll be looking forward to once I start shedding these pounds and getting my body back into fighting shape!
Meanwhile, completed un-weight related (gasp!), I saw World War Z yesterday, which was okay. It was nothing like the book. I'm a bit of a zombie freak. I also love anything post-apocalyptic/dystopia related, so I'm reading a bunch of different young adult series that fall into that category right now. Currently, I'm reading Matched (I can't remember the author's name) and it's terribly enjoyable. Very Hunger Games-esque.
So, if you are out there, please leave me a comment and tell me two things: 1. What kind of exercise do you like to do and 2. What kind of books do you enjoy?
Day 5
I have so much I want to say! I need to keep a notepad next to me at all times to make notes. Almost everytime I write a post, 30 minutes later I remember something else I wanted to mention.
Firstly, I was just talking to my mom and saying how I was proud of myself that I was on Day 5 and she gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me too. I also am noticing I'm eating a lot more "real" food as opposed to processed crap. Just eating all those fresh fruits and vegetables has made me feel more energetic today.
Secondly, I did my first of the three workouts last night. I invited my little niece along to workout to Leslie Sansonne and she was so cute! She totally got those sidesteps and kicks down in a hurry. I told myself I was going to do as much as I could and guess what? I made it through the whole 30 minutes of the video. After about the first 10 minutes, I seemed to really get energized and just kept going. And I've already thrown the workout clothes on for today too, so will be doing another workout today. Then just one more to go to meet my goal (but I have a sneaking suspicion I'll do more than that.
I'm feeling so motivated and positive right now. I know I can do this! I have almost zero cravings for junk food lately, I keep thinking about how every movement I make is going to add up to feeling fitter and healthier. I'm thinking ahead to my goals, while really enjoying this journey so far.
I've been reading a blog from start to finish the past few days...not finished yet, but this girl is amazing and a huge motivation! 111 Pounds She's lost around 100 pounds and runs all the time and eats healthy vegetarian (mostly from what I've read so far) food. She's my inspiration.
Reading blogs of other people who've been through this and succeeded is so helpful! I am going to catch up with hers, then find another one to read from start to finish, then another...and meanwhile, keep up with the current posts. There's so much information out there and so many amazing blogs that I get overwhelmed sometimes, so I decided this will be my method.
This morning I made REAL oatmeal on the stovetop, threw in 1/2 tbsp of honey, mashed up a banana in there and threw some strawberries on top. It was beautiful! I wish I'd taken a picture!
This afternoon, I'm currently enjoying a salad and vegetable samosas from Trader Joe's.
Tonight, I'm making sausage, baked potatoes and fresh green beans with lemon and garlic. Hopefully I'll remember to take a picture!
Firstly, I was just talking to my mom and saying how I was proud of myself that I was on Day 5 and she gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me too. I also am noticing I'm eating a lot more "real" food as opposed to processed crap. Just eating all those fresh fruits and vegetables has made me feel more energetic today.
Secondly, I did my first of the three workouts last night. I invited my little niece along to workout to Leslie Sansonne and she was so cute! She totally got those sidesteps and kicks down in a hurry. I told myself I was going to do as much as I could and guess what? I made it through the whole 30 minutes of the video. After about the first 10 minutes, I seemed to really get energized and just kept going. And I've already thrown the workout clothes on for today too, so will be doing another workout today. Then just one more to go to meet my goal (but I have a sneaking suspicion I'll do more than that.
I'm feeling so motivated and positive right now. I know I can do this! I have almost zero cravings for junk food lately, I keep thinking about how every movement I make is going to add up to feeling fitter and healthier. I'm thinking ahead to my goals, while really enjoying this journey so far.
I've been reading a blog from start to finish the past few days...not finished yet, but this girl is amazing and a huge motivation! 111 Pounds She's lost around 100 pounds and runs all the time and eats healthy vegetarian (mostly from what I've read so far) food. She's my inspiration.
Reading blogs of other people who've been through this and succeeded is so helpful! I am going to catch up with hers, then find another one to read from start to finish, then another...and meanwhile, keep up with the current posts. There's so much information out there and so many amazing blogs that I get overwhelmed sometimes, so I decided this will be my method.
This morning I made REAL oatmeal on the stovetop, threw in 1/2 tbsp of honey, mashed up a banana in there and threw some strawberries on top. It was beautiful! I wish I'd taken a picture!
This afternoon, I'm currently enjoying a salad and vegetable samosas from Trader Joe's.
 |
| My salad: romaine lettuce, black olives, cherry tomatoes, chow mein noodles, sun-dried tomato basil vinigrette, green hearts, yellow stars....oh, wait... |
 |
| Trader Joe's Veggie Samosas. Love this things! |
Tonight, I'm making sausage, baked potatoes and fresh green beans with lemon and garlic. Hopefully I'll remember to take a picture!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
More Frustration...and Some Confessions.
Something snapped last night when I got home and the snacking bug hit me. I finished off some peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's and a bag of those tasty oniony baked Snack-O's they sell (my niece helped me with those, however). And so I immediately started thinking about skipping dinner, because I'd already eaten my points (and then some) for the day. I ended up eating a couple of eggrolls later on, but didn't include the promised veg. My peanut butter and onion blow out didn't technically include anything plant-like either, because despite being "oniony", I'm pretty sure there's not even a lick of real onion in those suckers anyway.
BUT...I tracked it all anyway. And yes, I was over.
AND...I didn't weigh myself last night.
BUT...I weighed myself this morning.
HOWEVER...I have met my water quota for the past two days, so that goal I am meeting. Just not the other two.
So, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps today because of all of that, but also because of the week the States have been going through this week. First, the Boston Marathon bombings...then the poison envelopes being sent to government officials...and finally, the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas, which is just 10 or 15 miles south of my home. And yes, we felt the explosion here.
So all those things are making me sad. And the feeling of abject terror at once again failing at weight loss has made it all the sadder.
My sister asked me to dine at IHOP with her and my niece this evening, so I went...armed with my 31 remaining daily points...and ordered an omelette and pancakes. Definitely not the best choice. But I noticed that I did not eat until I was stuffed past the point of oblivion. I stopped. And then I came home and looked up the points for those suckers and tracked them. I was over my points again.
Now what?
Well, I pick myself up, shake the dirt off my ass, and keep going. This is how I have to live. This is not just now. It's forever. Whether I stay at 334 pounds for the rest of my life or the weight comes off, this is how I have to live. I cannot eat myself to death any longer. Yes, there are going to be shitty days when I overeat. And yes, there are going to be shitty days when I want to eat an entire cake (today, btw, was one of those days - but I didn't eat the cake). But guess what? There will be MORE days when I make the best choices I can. There will be days I drink all my water and eat plenty of foods that grow out of the ground and don't obsess over my weight (that last one might be a lie...time will tell). The key is not letting small set backs become huge set backs. And I feel like for the first time in a very long time, I'm able to prevent just that from happening.
BUT...I tracked it all anyway. And yes, I was over.
AND...I didn't weigh myself last night.
BUT...I weighed myself this morning.
HOWEVER...I have met my water quota for the past two days, so that goal I am meeting. Just not the other two.
So, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps today because of all of that, but also because of the week the States have been going through this week. First, the Boston Marathon bombings...then the poison envelopes being sent to government officials...and finally, the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas, which is just 10 or 15 miles south of my home. And yes, we felt the explosion here.
So all those things are making me sad. And the feeling of abject terror at once again failing at weight loss has made it all the sadder.
My sister asked me to dine at IHOP with her and my niece this evening, so I went...armed with my 31 remaining daily points...and ordered an omelette and pancakes. Definitely not the best choice. But I noticed that I did not eat until I was stuffed past the point of oblivion. I stopped. And then I came home and looked up the points for those suckers and tracked them. I was over my points again.
Now what?
Well, I pick myself up, shake the dirt off my ass, and keep going. This is how I have to live. This is not just now. It's forever. Whether I stay at 334 pounds for the rest of my life or the weight comes off, this is how I have to live. I cannot eat myself to death any longer. Yes, there are going to be shitty days when I overeat. And yes, there are going to be shitty days when I want to eat an entire cake (today, btw, was one of those days - but I didn't eat the cake). But guess what? There will be MORE days when I make the best choices I can. There will be days I drink all my water and eat plenty of foods that grow out of the ground and don't obsess over my weight (that last one might be a lie...time will tell). The key is not letting small set backs become huge set backs. And I feel like for the first time in a very long time, I'm able to prevent just that from happening.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Today's Weigh In
So, I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I'd been feeling very discouraged this past week because my weight was up over my first week weight loss and I just didn't feel like anything was ever going to come off.
But I actually lost .6 and am down to 334.8. I'm very happy with that considering I didn't think I was going to lose anything! It's not quite the 1 lb I was hoping for, but that happens.
I did exceptionally well all week, staying in my points and exercising for at least 11 minutes a day...
Yes, 11 minutes.
The first week, I promised myself I would do 10 minutes a day and this past week, I added a minute. Guess what? This week, I'm adding another minute, bringing it to a total of 12 minutes a day. And I'll keep doing that everyday until I'm up to 30 minutes. That's my goal for now (and I should reach that sometime this fall, I do believe). After I hit 30, I'll adjust my goal accordingly. I think my aim will be anywhere from 30-45 minutes daily.
Lastly, I have a quick and easy salad recipe to share.
I've been doing a lot of indoor grilling lately and marinating boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a homemade southwest marinade. After marinating for a few hours (or overnight), I throw those puppies on the stove top grill.
Chop the chicken up, throw it on a bed of lettuce with some tomatoes, salsa, guacamole, and a little light sour cream and you've got dinner. You could also add some cheese in there too, but I chose to forego it.
Southwest Marinated Chicken
2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
3 cloves crushed garlic
2 tbsp lime juice (lemon would work as well)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp dried minced onion
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp corriander
salt & pepper to taste
I throw this marinade together with the chicken in a big zip lock bag. The last time I made it, in fact, I used frozen chicken and just allowed it to thaw in the marinade on the counter during the day and it was perfect.
Thanks for stopping by!
But I actually lost .6 and am down to 334.8. I'm very happy with that considering I didn't think I was going to lose anything! It's not quite the 1 lb I was hoping for, but that happens.
I did exceptionally well all week, staying in my points and exercising for at least 11 minutes a day...
Yes, 11 minutes.
The first week, I promised myself I would do 10 minutes a day and this past week, I added a minute. Guess what? This week, I'm adding another minute, bringing it to a total of 12 minutes a day. And I'll keep doing that everyday until I'm up to 30 minutes. That's my goal for now (and I should reach that sometime this fall, I do believe). After I hit 30, I'll adjust my goal accordingly. I think my aim will be anywhere from 30-45 minutes daily.
Lastly, I have a quick and easy salad recipe to share.
I've been doing a lot of indoor grilling lately and marinating boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a homemade southwest marinade. After marinating for a few hours (or overnight), I throw those puppies on the stove top grill.
Chop the chicken up, throw it on a bed of lettuce with some tomatoes, salsa, guacamole, and a little light sour cream and you've got dinner. You could also add some cheese in there too, but I chose to forego it.
Southwest Marinated Chicken
2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
3 cloves crushed garlic
2 tbsp lime juice (lemon would work as well)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp dried minced onion
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp corriander
salt & pepper to taste
I throw this marinade together with the chicken in a big zip lock bag. The last time I made it, in fact, I used frozen chicken and just allowed it to thaw in the marinade on the counter during the day and it was perfect.
Thanks for stopping by!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
A Vegan Challenge
Hello all! I'm on Day Two of a 6 week challenge I've embarked upon. I'm going vegan for the next six weeks. There are some rules involved and they are:
1. All plant based foods.
2. At least 10 minutes of scheduled exercise daily (walking around Wal-Mart doesn't count).
3. Drink at least 64 oz of water a day.
4. Track AND stay in points range daily.
Yesterday, I successfully followed all three rules. I ate a ton of veg and fruit. I felt great yesterday. Today I'm feeling pretty crummy, but I suspect that has more to do with the weather than anything else.
During this challenge, I'm writing down some of my observations about what I notice in my body. Friday night, before bed, I wrote out a list of all the things I notice about how my body is not functioning properly. These include, but are not limited to:
And because I'm feeling brave, here is a photo of me (notice, I'm hiding my face) from 3 weeks ago...
1. All plant based foods.
2. At least 10 minutes of scheduled exercise daily (walking around Wal-Mart doesn't count).
3. Drink at least 64 oz of water a day.
4. Track AND stay in points range daily.
Yesterday, I successfully followed all three rules. I ate a ton of veg and fruit. I felt great yesterday. Today I'm feeling pretty crummy, but I suspect that has more to do with the weather than anything else.
During this challenge, I'm writing down some of my observations about what I notice in my body. Friday night, before bed, I wrote out a list of all the things I notice about how my body is not functioning properly. These include, but are not limited to:
- painful sciatica running down my left leg...back after years relatively pain free
- plantar fascitis in my left foot (my left side loves me)
- dry patches all over my legs
- swelling in my feet and calves
- frequent fatigue
- frequent headaches
- achy knees
And because I'm feeling brave, here is a photo of me (notice, I'm hiding my face) from 3 weeks ago...
Please excuse the crazy mess in my room!
I'm going to do my best to update as frequently as possible over the next 6 weeks. I have no doubt in my mind that I will see this through.
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