Renewal

Hey everyone! I've done pretty well the past couple of days and yesterday during one of my obsessive weigh-ins was happy to see I was back down, not only having lost anything I regained last week, but an additional .2 lbs!

Soooo....just thought I'd drop in and share that little tidbit. I'm slowly, slowly accepting that I am making changes to be healthier first and foremost AND that these are changes that I have to put into place for the rest of my life. There are going to be bad days (and weeks) but what matters is that I pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on that horse again. Time after time after time.

I've said this before, but it bears repeating...I want to LIVE my life, not just let it pass me by. There are so many things I want to do, see, and accomplish. And while the scale isn't moving as quickly as I like (even when I'm on track), there are still changes happening. My pants are looser. I'm not in so much pain. I have more energy. I'm I'm a generally better mood. These are all positives. All I have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and have my sights set on these small changes now adding up to big ones for my future.

Back on Track

So after my disasterous week last week, I knew I had no choice but to get refocused and back on the wagon today.

I preplanned all my food today and stuck to it.  I also darkened the door of my gym tonight for the first time in months and had a quick walk on the treadmill.  There was a guy a couple of treadmills down that was dressed head to toe in black sweats with his hood on.  He looked kind of like the unabomber, which freaked me out a bit.  But I made it outta there unscathed.

Weigh In

In a word, this week was...a disaster.  Fortunately, I ONLY gained a pound.

But rather than dwell on that, I'm tracking and moving on right this second. 

I was very active this weekend, so I feel good about that.

I really don't have anything else to say at the moment, for fear I'll just beat myself up and make things worse.

Weigh In

Hi everyone!  While I wasn't super successful stuffing my face with veggies and making sure that I didn't weigh myself 10,000 times a day, I did get my water in everyday since I set that goal.

And I'm down exactly 1 pound this week!  Last week I was 334.8, yesterday I was at 333.8.  I'm thrilled.  My goal is to lose 1 pound a week and I accomplished that.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I downloaded a free weight tracker from Half-Size Me a few weeks ago and having that visual reminder has been very helpful.  If you go to the website and sign up for her email updates, she sends you the tracker for free, so something to keep in mind.

Today, I've been busy meal planning for the upcoming week.  Payday is monthly for me and it is this upcoming Friday, so I'm going to have to make due with pretty much whatever is in the pantry for the time being.

Tonight, I'm making veggie pizza and cauliflower poppers.  I found the cauliflower popper recipe here:  Baked Cauliflower Poppers.  She claims they taste like french fries, so I'm going to give them a whirl.  We'll also have a green salad to round things out.

Pinterest has revolutionized the way I plan meals.  I have things categorized by cuisine and decided today to assign a meal-type to every day of the week.  This is what I'm trying:

Monday - Veggie Night
Tuesday - Crockpot Night
Wednesday - Chicken Night
Thursday - Salad Night
Friday - Sandwich Night
Saturday - Pasta Night
Sunday - Sunday Dinner with dessert.  Ooooooo!

I get very overwhelmed with all the amazing dessert choices out there, so I figure this will be a great way to have my cake and eat it too.  I have a month's worth of menus planned out, so on Sundays, I'll go through and put any recipes into my Weight Watchers tracker so I can plan out my lunches, breakfasts, and snacks accordingly for the upcoming week. 

Additionally, I plan out my grocery lists this way:

1 big master list for all non-perishables and freezer items for the month.
Weekly lists for produce and any other perishables pertaining to that week's menu.

Here's a peek at this week (and links to any recipes I'll be using).  Keep in mind, that I have a total of 51 daily points, so a lot of these recipes aren't particularly "Weight Watchers-minded".  Also, since I'm using up what we have on hand through Friday, I'm not sticking exactly to the afore-mentioned schedule. 

Monday - Trader Joe's Mandarin Orange Chicken with brown rice; asparagus
Tuesday - Crockpot Chicken Ranch Tacos (see recipe below) with all the fixin's; carrots
Wednesday - Hot dogs; green beans; garlic oven fries
Thursday - turkey sausage; mashed potatoes; salad
Friday - turkey burgers; roasted zucchini sticks
Saturday - meatloaf; Garlic Grilled Tomatoes; Fresno Potatoes
Sunday - Beef Stroganoff; salad; Incredible Triple Chocolate Cheesecake

SUPER EASY Crockpot Chicken Ranch Tacos
Serves 4
4 Points Plus per serving - chicken only

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 15-oz can diced tomatoes (or you can use fresh if you are feeling really productive)
1 packet dry ranch dressing mix
1 packet reduced sodium taco mix

Mix all ingredients in crockpot.  Cook on low for 4-6 hours.  Shred chicken using a fork.  Fill up taco shells and top with whatever you like.  We used shredded iceberg lettuce, shredded cheese, guacamole, sour cream, tomatoes, and olives.  If you have leftovers, they make a great salad topping for lunch the next day!

Thanks for stopping by!

More Frustration...and Some Confessions.

Something snapped last night when I got home and the snacking bug hit me.  I finished off some peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's and a bag of those tasty oniony baked Snack-O's they sell (my niece helped me with those, however).  And so I immediately started thinking about skipping dinner, because I'd already eaten my points (and then some) for the day.  I ended up eating a couple of eggrolls later on, but didn't include the promised veg.  My peanut butter and onion blow out didn't technically include anything plant-like either, because despite being "oniony", I'm pretty sure there's not even a lick of real onion in those suckers anyway.

BUT...I tracked it all anyway.  And yes, I was over.

AND...I didn't weigh myself last night.

BUT...I weighed myself this morning.

HOWEVER...I have met my water quota for the past two days, so that goal I am meeting.  Just not the other two.

So, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps today because of all of that, but also because of the week the States have been going through this week.  First, the Boston Marathon bombings...then the poison envelopes being sent to government officials...and finally, the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas, which is just 10 or 15 miles south of my home.  And yes, we felt the explosion here.

So all those things are making me sad.  And the feeling of abject terror at once again failing at weight loss has made it all the sadder. 

My sister asked me to dine at IHOP with her and my niece this evening, so I went...armed with my 31 remaining daily points...and ordered an omelette and pancakes.  Definitely not the best choice.  But I noticed that I did not eat until I was stuffed past the point of oblivion.  I stopped.  And then I came home and looked up the points for those suckers and tracked them.  I was over my points again. 

Now what?

Well, I pick myself up, shake the dirt off my ass, and keep going.  This is how I have to live.  This is not just now.  It's forever.  Whether I stay at 334 pounds for the rest of my life or the weight comes off, this is how I have to live.  I cannot eat myself to death any longer.  Yes, there are going to be shitty days when I overeat.  And yes, there are going to be shitty days when I want to eat an entire cake (today, btw, was one of those days - but I didn't eat the cake).  But guess what?  There will be MORE days when I make the best choices I can.  There will be days I drink all my water and eat plenty of foods that grow out of the ground and don't obsess over my weight (that last one might be a lie...time will tell).  The key is not letting small set backs become huge set backs.  And I feel like for the first time in a very long time, I'm able to prevent just that from happening. 

Thinking Through a Standstill (of sorts)

I'm feeling a stellar amount of frustration and depression over my weight loss efforts today.

The efforts are there. I have tracked, exercised, and stayed within my Points Plus range more than 90% of the time. I am not perfect, haven't been perfect, never will be perfect. Perfect doesn't exist. I refuse to beat myself up for my stumbles because they are each a learning experience and regardless of anything else, I am doing a million times better than I was just over 2 weeks ago.

What is not happening is that the scale is not moving fast enough for me! I told myself a couple of weeks ago that my goal was one pound a week. Very attainable. My first week I lost 7.something. The second only .6. So overall, yes, I am losing.

But...I'm an obsessive weigher.

I weigh every morning,
I weigh every afternoon after work.
I weigh at night before I go to bed.
I weigh at 2 AM when I'm up for a potty break.

And naturally, one's weight fluctuates.

In the past, daily weighing kept me accountable. Now I'm finding it just depresses me because the scale just goes up and back down a bit, back up more, down a tiny bit...and what this results in is a mentality that with every step I take forward, I'm taking 2 steps back.

So...for the remainder of the week, I shall not weigh. *GASP*! I hope that I'm not lying to you all by declaring this intention....but I will not weigh again until Saturday which is my official weigh in day.

Okay. I say all that to say this: the effort IS there. BUT are there things I need to tweak? Hell yes.

So what am I not doing that I should be? Two things immediately come to mind:
1. Too much processed food, not enough plants.
2. Too much diet soda, not enough water.

While I am staying in my PP range (except for the crazy that was Sunday, but we shan't dwell...), almost everything I've been eating comes in a package. Freezer meals for lunch, "baked" chips and snacks, etc. And I'll be honest, almost no fresh produce.

Yesterday, I made the decision that I need to start incorporating those things back into my diet. So after work, I hit the grocery store and bought $40 in fresh veggies and fruit. For the remainder of the week I plan to have fruit or veg with every meal or snack.

This is what it's looked like so far today:

Breakfast: cereal with a banana, milk and coffee

Snack: peanut butter-filled pretzels with a heaping side of grapes

Lunch: chicken tikka masala with a huge side salad

Dinner plans are still in the works, but I'll wager they will include some roasted Brussels sprouts and broccoli. Maybe even some carrots. And later, a fuji apple which I've recently discovered I enjoy tremendously, despite my overall aversion to fruit.

Secondly, I drink a lot of Coke Zero. If I had a true love, Coke Zero would be it. I've noticed I have been having my daily CZ and almost no water, so I'm upping the intake of that clear, crisp, unadulterated beverage. I had 20 oz on my hour long commute to work (I've run to the restroom 3 times already today - TMI?) and have another 20 oz set aside for lunch. In addition to the bottle sitting on my desk now. Can you guess what I'm going to say next? 48-64 oz of water for the remainder of the week.

So...let me reiterate: 3 pretty small, simple changes that I will follow through with for the remainder of the week! Plants with every meal or snack, 48-64 oz of water a day, and no more weighing til Saturday! Wish me luck!

I concluded my day of free-for-alling and feel back on track today. I'm planning on going to Zumba tonight with my sister.

Saturday night I made some amazingly yummy chicken ranch tacos, the recipe to which I hope to share later this evening. There are leftovers, so that's probably what I'll have tonight too.

Just wanted to check in!